It's been quite a busy and intense week...make that month. Ethan's 1st birthday, dinner guests, my mom's birthday, more dinner guests, grades due, musical rehearsal (we open next week!), school board meeting, meetings and more meetings, grades are due, papers need grading, finals need grading, rehearsal, husband's birthday, more rehearsal...
The list of things to do, of life, keeps growing. I can't seem to get things right, and lately, I've been feeling like I'm just not enough. Then that little negative voice starts shouting, "You suck. You suck! You are currently sucking at life right now! Be better! Be more! Do more! Why can't you get this right?!" And then I start believing the shouting voice and start wondering, "Why do I suck so much? Why can't I get it right? Why am I not enough?"
It's hard to remind myself that it's lies. It's all lies. I'm not sucking at life. I'm trying my hardest with what I have. I might not be enough in this moment, but at least I showed up. I think that's what I have to keep doing. Just showing up. Because if you think about it, showing up means that we're fighting for something. We're hanging on to that little bit of hope that we will be enough, that we'll make something good. And sometimes, something good happens and we're glad we had ever hoped in the first place.
So here's to More Hope and Less Sucking! We can do this - because as my dear friend (well, friend in the blogging world), Glennon Melton, says: WE CAN DO HARD THINGS! I like to tweak that beautiful and hopeful saying a little and make it: WE WERE MADE TO DO HARD THINGS! I think it makes it clearer that not only can we do life when it gets rough, but we were made for these moments and for so much more.
Love to all who read...which is like two of you. But all my love just the same!
- D
